How To Get A Second Date

So. You’ve survived the first date. You put on your best perfume, did your best small talk, and ate the smallest bites ever, and somehow, they agreed to go on a second date with you. Well, slow down there, because the second date might be even more important than the first.

The first date is all about getting to know them on a basic level, seeing if you two align on more than your favourite colour. Finding chemistry. With your second date comes the next challenge. Was that spark, just a spark? Or did it start the fire? The second date is like a little mini relationship projector, and the way you react to seeing your partner again can tell you a lot about how your relationship will look further down the line. In simpler words, if getting ready to see him is like doing a chore? The relationship down the line will only feel like a chore once the initial excitement bubbles over.

The second date also tells you more about the person you’re seeing. For one, where are you two going? Do they pay every time? What are they wearing? Do they always answer the phone in the middle of your date? By the second and third date you can start to rule out coincidences and begin to understand their patterns. Excuses that you may have believed the first time around stop being legitimate. These patterns are so important, especially for us ladies, because if we can rule out who is safe and who is suspect by the second or third date, it can save us from hassle, or even our lives. 

Further, the second date is an opportunity to really get to know your person. With all the awkwardness of the first date out of the way, you finally get a chance to be honest and personal with your partner, get to know them on a deeper, philosophical level and understand their thoughts and opinions below the surface level. The second date houses the most interesting conversations, because while you’re still being careful to be respectful and flirtatious, you’re slowly opening up and exposing your vulnerabilities to your partner, creating this amazing middle of the you that you show to people, and the real you. 

Finally, the second date lets you relax. Now that the stress of hooking them is done, you can actually start to enjoy the person they are rather than making sure they enjoy the person you are. Both of you can really take a breath and settle into each other. Your personalities, senses of humour and relaxed states come out to play and you learn about each other on a much more personal, sociable level than the front that often appears on the first date. This makes bonding so much easier because you bond person to person, instead of character to character. 

The first date is undoubtedly important; it shows you off and hooks your partner in, keeping them close and interested, but the second date moves past the superficial into the honest you, which makes it similar, if not more important than the first date. The establishment of who you two are as people comes out during the second date, as well as a tiny snapshot into your future as partners. 

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