How to get him to ask you out again
Let me set the scene. You’ve gotten home after quite honestly, the perfect first date. He was handsome, he was funny, he liked the same white wine that you did AND he knew that movie quote that you think is the funniest thing in the world. You’re completely over the moon and quite honestly, you can’t wait to see where this goes. Only now you realize, oh god, I have to get him to ask me out again. And sure, maybe he’ll muster the courage to do it all on his own but you want to be completely sure that this mr right ends up on your calendar pronto. So how do you get him to ask you out a second time? Here are my five tips on securing a second date.
- Don’t Under-Estimate the Power of Body Language
Ursula from The Little Mermaid’s advice rings true to not just mermaids, but us girls on land too. Humans are engineered to give hints and speak a second language through our bodies, and giving possible mates a push in the right direction is one way you can use your biological tools to your advantage. Maybe that means laying a hand on his shoulder or making sure to look him in the eyes. Maybe that means laughing at his jokes and sitting cross-legged. Whatever it means for you and however you show attraction, those simple small movements and gestures can give messages clearer than any words can.
- Look and Feel Confident
Everyone wants a movie star, so if you step out of the front door feeling like one, that confidence is a sure-fire way to ensure that the first date rolls into a second one. Even beyond face-to-face contact, calling and texting confidently, talking about your strengths, and being aware of your own worth make you valuable in a modern dating scene of insecurities. If he knows you won’t rely on him for validation, he can enjoy you as a person and a partner beyond the compliments and the assurances. When dating, it is no one else’s job to make you feel good. You have to know what you deserve and what you worth and your confidence must come from within. If you know your value, chances are he’ll realize it too.
- Have a Laugh
There is nothing like a good sense of humor to take down those awkward boundaries and make both of you feel confident and calm around one another. The first and second date can often feel a little bit nerve-wracking so taking down the severity of it all with some good fun can interject a more light-hearted and easy attraction and conversation into an otherwise uncomfortable situation. Besides, everyone wants a partner with an awesome sense of humor. Of course, make sure you’re being respectful and you don’t cross any boundaries, (the jokes that your grandfather makes probably aren’t good for a flashy second date), but having a laugh can ease tension and make the whole experience less scary. And more importantly, more fun.
- Give Him Hints
As much as we love men, we can all agree they’re a little blind. Even if you caught all the nuances and picked apart his every move determining whether or not he liked you, chances are, he is flying blind and trying his best to determine whether or not you really liked him, or you were seconds away from “just going to the bathroom for a minute”. Even if it seems a little obvious, there is no harm in dropping obvious hints to make him feel assured you want him to ask you out again. Whether that’s saying, “that was really fun! I’d love to do this again” or giving him a kiss goodbye, those subtle reassurances can really help him understand he’s wanted and that asking you out again won’t end in rejection.
- Ask Him Out!
Ladies, it’s 2021. If you want a man, go and get him! Now I hear you already worried about potential rejection and telling me that you want him to do it but sometimes, it has to be your job to step up and ask. In fact, over 60% of men say they wish women would take more initiative in the early stages of dating; asking him out, texting him first, taking the first step. With a little bit of scheduling and some open honest communication, you can set updates on your terms. And ladies, don’t be afraid of rejection. The fact is, rejection is just a part of life and something all of us will have to go through, and the more you take the lead, the more confident you’ll feel about doing it again in the future.
If you’ve found Mr. Right and you just can’t stand not seeing him again, consider these helpful tips to jumpstart a new relationship, or even just get a second date. (Insert link onto why the second date is more important than the first). Remember, the most important part of the early stages of relationships is having fun and overcoming the nervousness of meeting someone new. By taking some initiative and being sure in yourself, getting him to ask you out again should be no problem.